I know, I know, don't nag

So it has been forever.  I know.  How are you doing?  Fantastic. 

So my nursing program is winding down, only a month and a half until graduation.  Kind of a scary proposition. 

To any future employers who are doing background checks on me and stumble across this blog.  Hi, take a seat, read away.  I don't know how you will feel about all of this, but if I can may I offer a suggestion.  Don't view the events on here as a downfall, or a handicap.  See them as a triumph.  Sure things got out of control.  They got downright bad, beyond bad.  Yet here I am.  Graduating school.  Intact.  I know I will be a good nurse, and believe it or not, there are others who feel the same way.  Nurses themselves, instructors, patients, and patient families.  I challenge you to not gauge me by my past and see me for who I am.  Talk to me, ask questions.  I will answer them.

As time has passed, a lot of things have changed, some good, some not-so-good.  Either way, change is life.  Nothing stays the same, we aren't expected to never change.  We can adapt or live in the past, I choose to adapt.  I have learned how to live within myself and with who I am.  I don't expect for everyone in my past, present, or future to change for me as they should not expect me to change who I am for them.  This shift, the change has and will cause problems and pain.  Both to me and others.  I wish I could wave a magic wand and make people happy or make them forgive me, but that isn't reality.

Sometimes in life you need to move past your past.  Forgive, forget, or don't and move on.  Maybe I need to think about this myself.  I can not forget, and struggle with forgiving myself.  I have to remind myself I didn't knowingly do the things I did, that I didn't choose that path.  I won't let that happen to me again, I don't want to ever feel that way again.  It is however a fact that it did happen.  There is no denying it, there is no escaping it.  But there is no need to keep it in the forefront.  No need to use it against me.  Just know I have worked past it, and am living my life the best I can.  If you can accept that, thank you.  If not, I am sorry and maybe it is time for the third approach, for both of us.